Kirkland Beach Anyone?
by Micky CIA
Summary: The Bad Touch Trio messes with the wrong crabs, Australia goes full Aussie, Germany is covered in sand, and Englands brothers/dads show up for some fun. Who doesn't love the beaches in Australia...? Oh...that's right. The Nordics.


It was time to get away, your leaders had all went down to Australia to try and help deal with their immigration issues, and they decided that you all could use a vacation, so all the countries went down unda for their first time in a while! Kirkland Beach anyone?

"Hey, am I the first to arrive dude? Sweet, what do you want to do?" America dropped his stuff and started to set up his little miniature Oasis under one of the only trees on the beach. He casually removed the jeans over his swim trunks and proceeded to show off his navy approved swim wear, naturally in navy blue, with American flag pockets. Australia had just set up a huge rest area and was pounding in the last stakes to the only patch of dirt, away from the water.

"Gudday mate! I was just makin' sure everyone could relax when noon hits us! Would you mind makin' sure the rocks are in play-ce?" America nodded enthusiastically and proceeded to make sure the tarp was secured in the area that was in the sand. "Yeah, while it's decent now, it won't be in about four ow'wers." The Australian patted America's back for the help and then became slightly concerned. "Mate, you should probably put on spf. You aren't use to the heat yeah?" Shaking his head no, the man just laughed.

"I'm native American dude. I don't burn! I tan. It's Iggy we'll have to worry about, that and his older brothers." Australia nodded in approval.

"I betta go get more…aren't the Nordics comin' as well?"

"And my brother!" They stared at each other.

"We better get a lot!" Dashing off to the beach stand that Australia had on his private beach, they grabbed all the spf they had and it was a decent sized box by the time they had gotten it all together.

"…seventeen…eighteen, nineteen…" America finished his stack, and Australia picked up where America left off.

"…tweny-four, tweny fieve, tweny-six…I think we should be good brotha!" They high fived and sat up all the coolers, naturally, at least one had nothing but liquor, for some of the more…ahem. Alcoholic countries. They made a clear sign as to who could not get into it, including Sealand, England and France. Sealand for obvious reasons, France because, well they didn't need a drunk France, he was flirtatious enough sober, and England…well, no one needed a grumpy cry baby on vacation.

"Hey guys!" Looking in the direction of the voice, up came walking France with Russia with little Sealand in hot pursuit. England wasn't far behind, grumbling about the heat and too much sun, and something along the lines of how, 'he should've just kept Australia in jail all those years ago'.

"Hey mates! Long time no see!" He tossed the Europeans spf when they entered the tent.

"What's dis for?" Ivan the Russian stared at the bottle. He read it out loud. "For protection against sun and ultra-violet rays…I don't need dis." Ivan handed it back politely. Australia smiled nervously.

"But, are you sure you won't get sunburn mate?" Russia laughed whole heartedly.

"I don't need protection. No one attacks Russia." America just looked over at Australia.

"Don't get grumpy if you get burned though. Hey Iggy, you need help?" The Brit was furiously setting his stuff down and scoffing at the American's question.

"I don't plan on swimming." The Australian and America looked at their older counterpart. But of course, he had started Sealand's sunblock. France wasn't having England not be naked, he may hate the guy, be he loved to laugh at him. Right after he was done with Sealand's, France cautiously snuck around the other side of the tent to pounce on him when all of the sudden, he was tackled to the ground.

"FRANCE! IT'S ZE AFESOME ME UNT THE LESS AFESOME SPAIN!" They proceeded to love up on their friend, Prussia had dragged in Germany and Austria, and tagging along with Spain, or, 'tomato bastard', was Italy and Romano.

"Ve~~~! Look at-a everyone about to-a get-a tans! Where are all the preety ladies? Are day-a hiding?" North Italy, Veliciano, peeked around everywhere, looking for some Australian babes to flirt with. "Dare are no-a people! Laaaadies~~~~!" He pouted.

"Shut-a up fratello! You-a no need any ladies! Day don't want-a a flirt-a like-a you or tomato bastard!" South Italy, Lovino, or in other terms, Romano, started to fight with his brother.

"Germany! Come-save me Germany!" Huffing, Germany casually picked up North Italy, tossing him over his shoulder and carrying him to the nearest seat, plopping him down, the man smiled at his friend. "Thank-a you-a Germany!" He put his bag in his lap and began to sing in Italian while digging through it.

"Damn potato bastard!" The man shouted at the hulking Germany, Germany just ignored the insult and started to set down his own things, Austria took offense to it and chucked a flip flop at South Italy's face. While they started to argue in the background and Spain tried to get South Italy to calm down, America just walked over to England and tried to get him to put on sun screen.

"Hey, just be cool and put it on. You never know who will drag you into the water to play dude!" A rather annoyed older male stared at America, his bushy eyebrows showing his frustration. "Come on, I can help you!" America put a huge blob in one hand and put the older man's shirt over the man's head and started to rub in the lotion, he was almost done when Canada accidentally bumped into him trying to avoid France. "Hey! You need some too!" Against Canada's protest he sat down his younger sibling and began to remove his shirt as well, when France came to try and steal Canada, America just pushed his face away. "No pervertedness today France."

"Aye, everyone, are you ready to git in the wuater?" Australia motioned for everyone to follow him. America hoisted up Canada and England on his shoulders and carried them to the water with him, running while they protested. France was in hot pursuit of Canada, wanting to love on, 'his son' or something like that while he charged after America, Australia was running after the boy, Canada and England quickly threw their phones towards the tent to empty their pockets of anything that would be damaged, they were trying to wiggle out of their jeans to just be in their swim wear, just in time before America plunged into the water with them, soaking all three from head to toe.

"You bloody Yank!" Coming up for air, he splashed the boy who smiled and then jumped on his brother, taking them both under the water. Little Canada smiled at the older man beaming at him through the clear Australian water. They came up for air when the Australian jumped in with them.

France stopped at the waters' edge not wanting to mess with his hair, so Prussia and Spain joined him in the shallows trying to catch fish. The Nordics set up at the tent and refused to go out. They casually started reading while Denmark was trying to drag Sweden out of the area and into the water. Liechtenstein, Sealand, and a few micro-nations were searching for seashells, but not before Sealand had made sure everyone was wearing sunblock first, relieving Switzerland of that duty. Denmark gave up and grabbed one of his siblings, rushing towards the water at full speed, getting hit repeatedly as Iceland tried to break free.

"Put me down!" He beat Denmark's back trying to get free, but it was if no use.

"I'm awesome and need a swimming partner!" He jumped into the water splashing the other countries who were laughing along with them, including England now. They started up a game of Marco Polo while the Nordics refused to get out.

France, Prussia, and Spain casually started pointing out stuff below the waves, when Prussia decided to pick up a huge crab and start chasing France around the beach in circles. Spain was laughing at the two when all of the sudden, the crab latched on to Prussia's pointer finger and then he ran around screaming his head off, then France was laughing and poking at the crab to inflict a little more pain on his friend, when the crab latched on to France as well, Spain could hear the men yelling and was laughing even harder at the two when he finally went to go help the two blithering morons, he stepped on something extremely sharp and painful, looking down, another crab had seemingly attached itself to the Spaniards foot. He joined the trio in agonizing pain.

The Nordics started finally to play in the sand, well, all the sand under the tent.

Denmark was splashing around when all the sudden, there was a yell by the Australian.

"Everybody outta the wau-ter!" He watched everyone out of the water when a fin was seen behind him.

"I'm coming for you!" America had carried three people out of the water when he started to rush back in for the Aussie. "Hang in there!"

"It's fine mate! Stay where you are!" America was going against what the Australian had said anyway. "Mate, ya betta watch out!" He reached back as far as he could and punched the incoming shark. America had just got to him and pulled him ashore. "Mate, I said I was fine." He pulled the guy ashore anyway.

"I need to make sure you're okay! Are you okay? Australia! Speak to me!"

"I bloody did mate! I swear I'm okay. I punched a shark, that's it!" Australia was laughing and patting his pal on the back. "But it's nice to know that you'd come in for me mate! A breath of fresh air yeah?" He got up and helped America up and everyone headed for the tent. "It's time for a bite to eat!" They walked up to the tent to find a sleeping Germany…covered in sand from the neck down.

"Germany! Aren't you hungry? Come on man!" America leaned down and tapped Germany's forehead. Germany gently stirred to the tap and woke in fright.

"ITAAALLY!" Shaking the sand off, he got up and stared at the young man who ran away with his helper Romano. "That dummkoph." Russia helped the German out of the sand and everyone sat down for food. Germany, Austria, and Prussia all started for the beer cooler, while Italy, Spain, and Romano all got into the wine cooler. France whined and complained until someone poured him a miniature glass.

America grabbed Canada and twirled him around. He finally set him down and stared at everyone, he couldn't be more happy, thrilled, or amazed by everyone, and he was grateful that all of them were his friends. Sweden even enjoyed himself a little and came over to the food table, he put his hand on America's back to indicate he was behind him. Over the commotion of eating and plates, there was a loud yell.

Three countries approached and brought their own cooler. They looked at everyone, no one seemed to really recognize them, but America heard underneath the mumble of England's breath the man curse the skies.

"Bloody hell…not these gits." America approached them for the sake of his, god help him he was going to use the name Iggy tried to get America call him when he was drunk, 'dad'.

"Hey, what's, what's going on?" He was at the forefront trying to stop any issues.

"Hey their grandson. We're your grandfathers. Do your grandfathers a faver and try and put this down for us." All three each took turn ruffling his hair as they passed. The red heads started in on the food as well. "We need to stay out of the sun. We burn redder than the crabs our sons' lover was playing with!"

"HES NOT MY LOVER YOU BLOODY WANKERS!" England was on his feet, angry at the three.

"Now, is that anyway to talk to your dads?" Scotland scoffed and set his bag down. "Terrible. North, you raised him to be so rude!" North Ireland yelled at his brother.

"I didn't! South did it!" North Ireland pushed South Ireland.

"Oi! It was Scott! Not me!" England had finally had enough and went to go cool off under America's claimed spot in the shade of the tree. America followed him out and so did Canada.

"They aren't my dads. They're more like dumbasses!" England pouted. Canada sat down and so did America.

"Like the way you try and get me to call you, 'daddy' when you're drunk?" Canada laughed.

"Or like when F-France tries to call me 'son'?" They all giggled. The blushing boys laughed.

"I don't care what anyone calls me." America grabbed the men and hugged them fiercely. He stroked each of their hair while smiling. Just then they heard a yell from the tent. They heard the shouts and deemed that France had gotten into the booze and was trying to fondle everyone. It's been a good day at the beach. "Because I've got you guys."


End file.
